In Defense of Internet Explorer

internetexplorerIn advance, I apologize to the computer-savvy portion of my audience. You see, I don’t know programming language well enough to interpret my initial research. Here is some of the unintelligible gibberish I encountered in the comments section of a techie blog:

“This page has 67 HTML validation errors. Its CSS has 7 errors and a number of warnings about things which will affect accessibility… If you can’t get these things right, how can you hope to comply with standards elsewhere?”

I responded with the eloquent phrase, “Huzzuhwha now?”

I prefer the 80's hacker movie type of interface myself.

I prefer the 80’s hacker movie type of interface myself.

So yes, I’m terrible at programming language. My forte lies in snarky quips and fancy wordplay (at least, I like to believe that). In the end, that means I’ll never have a job while you computer people laugh atop your piles of money like Scrooge McDuck.

But now, I’m going to say something that will knock your monocles off. I did all my research for this entry using Internet Explorer, and encountered no problems or frustrations.

Let me guess your response: “Huzzuhwha?”


It’s true, I upgraded to IE9 and have yet to encounter a problem (I still prefer Chrome, so don’t sharpen your pitchforks just yet). Online searches agreed with my assessment, showing that some geeks no longer mind IE as a browser choice. complimented IE9, saying, “it’s got a shiny new interface that looks a lot like Google Chrome, blazing fast hardware acceleration, and supports HTML5 surprisingly well—in fact, it’s so much better that 34% of our readers said they will switch to IE9.”

However, that shining statement only comes after a detailed listing of why geeks hate Internet Explorer.

“Supporting IE is like a fork in the eye for Web devs. . . You open up IE and your page looks like somebody put it into a blender and hit the whip button. Then you spend double that amount of time trying to fix it. . . Geeks don’t hate something that’s inferior—but they do hate it when it’s forced on them.”

In many ways, I understand this sentiment. However, Microsoft has recently reworked IE into something tolerable. Does Internet Explorer only receive scorn because it is associated with Microsoft? Is that a good enough reason to equate it with the stench of sauerkraut?

Either that or cheese. Scratch that, cheese covered in some lady's nose excretions.

Either that or cheese. Scratch that, cheese covered in some lady’s nose excretions.

During my research, I found website urls ranging from “” to “” to the vowel-plagued “” Revulsion comes from all directions, getting worse as the website quality diminishes (read carefully if look up that last one). Eventually, the venting gets petty and crude.

Yeah, show that browser who's boss!

Yeah, show that browser who’s boss!

Honestly, I think browser choice is a poor reason to judge people. Microsoft and IE may have a sordid history, but that’s no reason to post statements like “ummm, I hate IE cause i got a brain!” on some terrible venting website. Or “It smells like hardcore goose fat!” Or “I fart better source code while I’m sleeping.” Let’s grow up a little bit.

Also, let’s learn the English language. I think every quote I used contained at least one error. And now you’re going to look for them, aren’t you? So predictable. . .


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