In Defense of Cheerios


This week will be short for two reasons. Firstly, I’m going on vacation today. But secondly and more importantly, I’m writing about bland fiber loops. I can’t devote my normal word count to a wholesome balanced part of a healthy breakfast. That is, unless they did something that causes widespread upheaval and trollish anger.

Like this.

OH, GAG! I never thought a 30-second commercial would make me so nauseous. And it doesn’t mirror real life at all… if I poured cereal on my dad, he’d have boiled my hands. Children these days are never punished for their light-hearted hijinks, and something MUST BE DONE!

That up there, that is flame-war material.

Tim Nudd of writes that the comments section of the YouTube clip “predictably… devolved into an endless flame war, with references to Nazis, ‘troglodytes’ and ‘racial genocide.'” The comment section got so bad they actually had to close it completely. Let me remind you, this is a commercial for Cheerios.

So did you watch that video? I assume it made you rage-vomit, but try to keep a cool head as I attempt to defend it.

Maybe get some cold milk and a nice bowl of BLAARGHFARRG.

Maybe get some cold milk and a nice bowl of BLAARGHFARRG.

After people realized how ridiculous this internet rage was becoming, all the seemingly-sane news sites started sharing it. NPRYahoothe New York TimesUSA TodayABC, the Huffington Post… all these smart organizations expressed collective befuddlement. And if you didn’t already guess, the “problem” with the video isn’t Nazism, ageism or genocide. It’s the biracial nature of the parents, because we seem to have inherited the tolerance of our great-grandparents.

And yes, all of this is stupid. This widespread coverage is really, really stupid.

As always, gets straight to the issue.

“Don’t get us wrong,” writes David Christopher Bell, “the idea that some people are so behind the times that the sight of a racially mixed marriage sets them off is appalling. But allow us to reiterate – this entire news cycle rested on the fact that people were spouting inane shit … on YouTube.”

Do we not expect this? I’ve watched clips of Disney films where people talked about ass wiping. This Adventure Time clip has several weird comments about sexual positions. And don’t get me started on anything even remotely political… or involving lesbians… or popular music in any form…

It’s anything, really. But we should be used to YouTube by now.

Broadcast yourself, and your insane theories about vaccinations.

Broadcast yourself, and your insane theories about vaccinations.

I’m not saying it’s okay just because it happens every day. I am saying that the journalism here was really oblivious. I expect more from the Huffington Post (I’ll let you decide if that’s a joke or not). I don’t expect anything from YouTube trolls… which will make them an interesting topic to defend when I have more time. For now, let’s just cross Cheerios off my defense list. Hopefully they don’t descend into fascism any time soon.

If anything, it’s just funny that a wholesome commercial pushing heart health was essentially ruined by YouTube trolls. “Heart health” indeed…

"What is this hijink? Grrrrrrr..."

“What is this hijink? Grrrrrrr…”


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